words i wanna say

This days due to have prob wid family..feel so stress up,especially in studies..i failed them once..n now,the trust in between like gone adi..at the same time,me n dear also had arguement..plus past few days my mood were not that good thou..is like cant really talk to him properly..!!i tend to get piss off easily..is so not like me,argg..hate it so much..im tryin my best to control my emotion when i talk to him but when the topic come to my family..then,get to be different adi..feeling so sad..!!i know how hard he actually persuide himself to accept my request..that not to meet for a month plus..at the 1st moment i dint ever think of need to do that..till the day when dad came back from work n suddenly came to me n ask me some ques..n tell me wat had him found out n understand..at the time i feel so tension..mayb i really had things hiding behind..that's y i felt tension..!!after all..i thought it will get to cool down slowly..n i believe is goin better but till last nitez,dad came to me again n telling some weird things that i dun understand..i dunno what he heard n so on..bcoz of those words,it causes sis dint get to slp well too..n i cant get to cool down myself wid his words..i really worry,i told dear n he said since my dad sint wanna say it out then i no need to bother..ya,say is easy but he's not the 1 that listen..n im the that listen those words..really cant believe that at the moment my dad reaction is so serious..!!honestly,i have nothin to hide from dear,but just bout feeling..he dint get it..things that im worry bout..many things that i wish to do wid him..i dun wanna end coz of dis..being wid him for a time adi,is not that easy to let go..n really wan him to know,i decide not to meet not bcoz i avoidin him,yet is to show out that dun wan them to think so much,as well as wan sis to trust him that his love to me is really can go through everything..n also a time for us to prove no matter how hard it is..we can go through everything together..dis is wat im thinking..!!N i really appreciate wat u did for me,from the time v together till now u alwiz so understandin me..tq so much..wanna tell u,i love u no matter how k..!!no matter how,sis is my family n also my very bast fren to me..anyhow i need to listen to her..her words..give support me..that i can stay wid u..ya