Phew...

Phew,what a day men..really shocked n dint expect that will happen..all the while when sam tell me, I thought he’s just kiddin but today he seem serious bout this..guess what..he told me he likes me..n is face to face..really scare me..but luckily awhile later feelin better..then,I told him that I dun plan to have a bf now..n also next year I’ll be goin to kampar for my degree..i dun like long distain relationship..for me,I think is hard to maintain..n honestly I dun really trust myself..on it..too!!Then,another think is bout my parents..n also my sis..even though she is ok with it but any how she will give comment too..therefore, I really hope that when I have a bf she will agree n accept..n support me..!!Then,he say he understand and will wait for me..I dunno he really mean it or just say only..dint wana think so much bout it but I can feel that he really wana b with me..but really sorry..if I insist to b with him when I know im not ready into a relationship..things might get worst..so,I really wish that he can understand n now is just nice..i enjoy like that..hehe=)..

beginin of my coll life...

Haiz..after a long holiday..i finally started my coll last Monday..feelin abit weird..but oso exciting..hehe,mayb jz too long dint study n now gona continue my study n also none of my frez company me..so,feelin abit weird..but feelin exciting coz um getting 2 know new frez n startin my coll life..therefore really dunno how’s my life will b in coll..!! da 1st day of coll..i reach there quite early..coz sis need 2 go work at 9 n my class is only start at 10..so,I waited for roughly an hour..was standin there dunno wat 2 do..n was jz lookin round..later on,I saw Hsiao hui n her frez li yiing..thank god..i know them..so still not that bad..n not lonely…then,she knows few galz n v intro to each other n we get 2 know each other liao..really happie 2 know them..they r qiao wei,chiou yee,ai fen..n after that I get 2 know another 2 on the next day which is ee yong n sim ee..!!through out dis 2 weeks..7 of us is getting closer..n between 7 of us..there;s 2 group which qiao wei,ee yong,.hsiao hui n chiou yee..then another group which me,sim ee n ai fen..we’re seperate due to tutorial group..any how,me,sim ee,ee yong n qiao wei r alwiz 2ether durin lecturer..mayb 4 of us like 2 joke around n look at guyz which is cute n handsome of coz..haha,somehow,Hsiao hui n chiou yee were alwiz 2gether jz like a twice sis..then,bout ai fen..sim ee n I think that she is zlso like both of them..quiet type wan..but dunno y she so sesak..any how,im happy being 2gether with them..n beside them..there’s also a gal name yoke mei..she’s also a fun person..can joke around too..these are the people that I alwiz mix around with..now,Im kind of enjoy my life there adi…hopefully longer nlonger will get better n better…n hope can get to c more leng chai..haha

last friday..

Today,I have class as usual..8 am in the morning…but Im really happie with today’s timetable coz I get to end my class early which at 11 am..after my class end,I suppose to meet up with sam for breakfirst but while im walking to jaya..i received jon’s call..and ask to go yam cha..n I say ok..then,I meet him at jaya..after that,I msg sam n told him I’ll just have lunch with him..later,luckily he’s ok with it..if not really dunno how..!!after awhile..he arrive..then he ask me for suggestion which around sec 14 got any nice foods..and I told him Im bored of eatin at sec 14..therefore we went ss2 coz he drove..when we’re there he ask the same thing again..i told him..dunno..since both of us dun have any idea so,he jz turning around n around..Finally,we decide 2 eat at wong kok…therefore we jz had our lunch there..between the 2 hours I really enjoy the conversation with him...though we’re just updating each other..n chat bout da others but after 2 years dint meet up..i really feelin great with it..after the lunch he drop me at digital mall..then,I meet up with sam..n jz company him for lunch..later on,I went digital mall and stay there bout 3 to 4 hours to wait for chia ching to go for drink before I go home but jz she need 2 take an hour 2 be back from her college therefore,only fitri,man n me..after that,I walked home…!!that’s all bout my journey for today..actually dis is jz a normal day but im happie coz of jon..get 2 meet up with him which I dint think about it..im not in purpose to delay my time wid sam but any how,I still think that he still important..not b’coz I got 2gether with him b4 but really takes him as my friend that when I got problem..i can look 4 him n same goes to him..too..!!

i had a great time..

Today I had a wonderful day with my beloved sis n tsushon..we went Time Square and Sg Wang for shoppin..actually I dint expect to go there..but tsushon suggest there coz he say there is also a good place for to shop..therefore,we decide to go there..im pretty happie that I get my bag from radioactive..and 1 of the stuff look quite cute..!!later on,I though of join man n cc 4 movie at 1u..so,after we had our dinner,sis plan to send me there but unfortunely,when we plan 2 leave,,outside was rainin..so,we cant get back 2 the carpark..n we went back 4 other walk..therefore,I dint get 2 join them 4 the movie..but we went ktz at ss2 4 a drink..though i dint get 2 join cc n man but Im still happie havin fun shoppin with sis n tsushon…eventhough dis is the 1st time joinin them 4 shoppin but I enjoy..is really nice,,n I think sis thinks that too..i think we will enjoy the next time we meet up..

WHY

Why??I really don’t understand..why cant I have my own freedom..why cant I enjoy my life..jz like others people do…I really hate it like that..i know u’re alwiz worry bout me,wana protect me..n think that in this age is still young..I know that..but somehow I really hope that I get to tell u what am I thinking and wana let u know what I really need..and wana tell u,I can decide things myself n have my own freedom..why cant u trust me..i know u care for my studies and others,so do i..i know study is important for me..i also care for it coz I know that’s my future..but somehow u’re alwiz thinks that im still a kids..u dint ever think that im growin and have my own thinking..u know,i really hope that u’ll listen to me..sometimes n give me freedom..that I alwiz wish for it..that’s all..jz a little wish…but till now im 18..i still don’t really have it..!!as ur daughter,cant I be trusted..sometimes i so hope that to be ur gal..but everytimes when things come to freedom and others small things..everything will change..it cant go smooth..as i’ll alwiz wana tell u the truth..but at the same time u’re a conservative person,there are many things that I cant tell u..and that I need to lie to u..n when things go deeper..lies have never ends...i really hope that u can be open minded..n I get to share all my stuff n problems with u but somehow,it wont happen…I don't know how to explain to u what am I thinking n what I need..i so hope that u’ll get to understand me..jz like dad did sometimes..as ur daughter..im so sorry I alwiz hurt u..hopefully the day that I alwiz pray for..will come true 1 day..n our relationship will get to improve jz like frez……by now,im really sorry..